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My Trollish Rantings

Missives From The Lair

5/22/10 05:26 am - Home On LaGrange

Ahh, here is something to sing by the fusion camp fire...at the 60-degree orbit points......

(to the tune of "Home On The Range")

Oh, give me a locus where the gravitons focus
        Where the three-body problem is solved,
        Where the microwaves play down at three degrees K,
        And the cold virus never evolved.


We eat algea pie, our vacuum is high,
        Our ball bearings are perfectly round.
        Our horizon is curved, our warheads are MIRVed,
        And a kilogram weighs half a pound.

If we run out of space for our burgeoning race
        No more Lebensraum left for the Mensch
        When we're ready to start, we can take Mars apart,
        If we just find a big enough wrench. 


I'm sick of this place, it's just McDonald's in space,
        And living up here is a bore.
        Tell the shiggies, "Don't cry," they can kiss me goodbye
        'Cause I'm moving next week to L4!  

CHORUS: Home, home on LaGrange,
        Where the space debris always collects,
        We possess, so it seems, two of Man's greatest dreams:
        Solar power and zero-gee sex.

12/15/09 11:25 pm - Annie

Well, I got cast in CCT's production of "Annie" which will open in early 2010.  I hope that, in this production:

1.) The dog will actually be active (in the production I did 7 years ago, the dog had to be dragged offstage during the cop chase scene.  It was laughable from the audience's perspective, at least)

2.) The actress that plays Annie isn't some prima donna bitch like the last one.

3.) the stage moms that have to take care of the kids who play the orphans don't have as many cucumbers up their behinds.

Oh, well, I am sure it will be great.  hope to see you all there!

7/1/09 11:33 pm - "Anyone.....Anyone....."


Some of you may know already that I have enrolled in ITT Tech.  So far, the entry-level classes I am taking are interesting, if not challenging.

What is getting me is the absolute LACK of activity in many of my associate students.  I have observed that most of these "studying dead" are fresh out of high school.

Without going into too much detail, let's just say that two of my classes require some form of basic creativity in the form of the-answer-isn't-directly-in-the-front-of-your-face-with-a-big-fucking-neon-sign-flashing-rather-you-have-to-think-for-yourself-or-research-the-answer-on-your-own. 

You must understand that, although ITT Tech is cheaper than most colleges/universities around where I am, it still isn't pennies.  These kids are paying tens of thousands of simoleans to go here to stare at the instructor with their mouths open.  I hope they don't get too much into debt and drop out while they still can salvage their credit ratings. 

Oh, well, maybe I am asking too much, but it really SUCKS when I seem to be the ONLY one that can answer any of the instructor's questions when he throws one out to us.  It is getting that the instructor says to the class: "Can anyone ELSE, other than him, answer these questions, guys?  Come on, what are you paying for?"

Okay, RANT OFF.  Back to my "studies...."

3/4/09 12:25 am - Pie Jesu Domine, Dona Eo Requiem

Today, March 4, marks the first anniversary of the death of Ernest Gary
Gygax - the founder of modern role-playing games.

Loved his work, or hated it, GG set the initial standard for our
favorite hobby. One of the quotations from him that I remember the most

"The secret that we should never let the gamemasters know, is that they
don't need any rules."

This is something I learned in my early stages of GM'ing. Most good
GM's learn this. GG was, I believe, a good GM - the way GM's should
treat "their" games.

Many newbie RP'ers don't know who GG was. I found, a few years ago in a
comic shop in Simi Valley, California, many kids who were interested in
this "3rd Edition D&D" stuff. They didn't know what it was (a few
wondered what card sets went with it) or where it came from. It was up
to me, and a few others, to edjamacate them.

Because of the demise of The Great GM on this day, several RPG companies
and groups have declared this day, March 4, as GM Day. For all of us
GM's, this day is for us as well. Many game companies are offering
promotions on this day. Check out your favorite company and see what
they are offering.

I will sign off now from another quotation from the man who gave us the
pastime that will stay with us for the rest of our lives:

"I would like the world to remember me as the guy who really enjoyed
playing games and sharing his knowledge and his fun pastimes with
everybody else."

2/23/09 04:50 pm - And The Winner Is...........A Corpse!!!

I didn't watch the Oscars last night.  I just looked in the paper this morning to see who/what won.......

I see that the Late Heath Ledger received the Golden Statue for his work in "The Dark Knight."  What kind of crap is this????  HELLO....HE'S DEAD!!!!  He has passed on!  He has left his life behind! Did I happen to mention that he is dead?

Keep in mind: the Oscar he received wasn't some kind of Lifetime Achievement Award; it was for BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR.

My main problems with wasting an Oscar on Heath Ledger are twofold:

1. Did I mention already that THE ACTOR DIED many moons ago?
2. The Dark Knight did pretty well at the box office and DVD sales.  IT DOESN'T NEED PROMOTION!!!

Slumdog Millionaire seems like a good choice for being a multi-statue winner: it looks like a good movie that nobody in the U.S. bothered to see.  Sean Penn, Kate Winslet, and Penelope Cruz are excellent choices as well.  All three of them have a large corpus laborum consisting of excellent talent and dedication.  And, unlke Mr. Ledger, they're STILL ALIVE!!

There are plenty of actors out there that slaved over a hot script last year with comparable bodies of work.  Ones who have excellent talent and dedication to their craft.  I love this: all of you were passed over by a corpse!  I am sure you are all very happy for the rotting carcass and wish it well while it rests 6-feet under...

I am sure all of the African American Special Interest Groups are up in arms right now: no Oscar this year for the token black actor.  They've been skunked by a cadaver as well!

Now, if they dug up Heath's body, dragged it up to the podium at the ceremony, and spliced bits of dialogue from his various projects to make his speech and played it over the P.A. system, then it would have been worthwhile to give him the prize (and it would've been pretty cool to watch).......

10/27/08 10:55 pm - Writer's Block: The Undead

With Halloween on the horizon, burning questions about the undead need to be answered: Can being a zombie be considered suffering?
Naahhhh!  Fulfill the Zombie Imperative!!  Meat is meat!!  EAT EAT EAT!!!!!!!!

10/27/08 02:35 pm - It's That Time Of Year Again...

Yes, it's the season.  For some, it's the worst day of the year.  For others, it is the best.

To the religious nutcases out here: GET OVER IT!!!  The only ones who persecute you are yourselves and you are not going to "save" anyone.  Yelling religious tracts at the kids is just going to get your house egged badly - by their parents.

To the retards out there: You know whom I mean: the kids who don't even bother to dress up for Halloween but go around asking for candy.  If you are of single-digit age, it's not your fault.  Blame your parent(s).  If you are a teen, go away.  You're not being clever. 
In my neighborhood, you might even get the cops called you at best, shot at worst.  We had an incident where party crashers demanded beer during a bachelor party.  They were refused and kicked out.  They came back shooting - killing the groom-to-be.  We are prepared for you this year: either with a cell phone with a hotkey to the cops, or a gun barrel in your face.  In short: dress up and put some effort into the game.

To all the freaks out there who can't leave black cats alone: GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!  It's just a kitty!  The cat can't help the color of its fur.  It is not the sign of Satan ::tm:: .  If anything, YOU ARE!  Go sacrifice yourselves and do us all a favor.  If you touch any of MY black kitties, well see the previous paragraph of what will probably happen to you.

Well, that covers the important parts, except for one more thing:


10/19/08 02:53 am - 3 Strikes....

Well, when it comes to the dinner theater show I am doing, The Pirates of Channel Islands, it's been a bummer.

We have had 3 shows canceled so far.  People are pulling their reservations.  The places where we have our shows have a minimum reservation count.  We don't get enough, the show is cut.

Our upcoming schedule is:

Friday, October 24, 2008 – Simi Valley – 8 pm

Saturday, October 25, 2008 – Palmdale – 7:30 pm

Friday, November 7, 2008 – Palmdale – 8 pm

Sunday Champagne Brunch, November 9, 2008 – Simi Valley – 11:30 am

Friday, November 14, 2008 – Simi Valley – 8 pm

Saturday, November 15, 2008 – Palmdale – 7:30 pm

If you have any inkling to see an interactive dinner theater, go to http://www.justmurder.com

Set up a reservation.  The Simi show is at Paul's Italian Villa on Cochran Ave.  The Palmdale show is at the Holiday Inn.  You can get full directions at the website.

Well, I hope that the economy doesn't help kill any more shows...

10/8/08 12:08 am - I'm Shocked...SHOCKED!!


China makes Nobel prize warning

China has said it hopes the Nobel Peace Prize will reward what it
called "the right person", amid reports that jailed dissidents top the
list of favourites.........

Well, it looks like the Chinese Government officials are a bit pissy about the candidates from their home country that are up for the World's Coveted Free Money Award.....

 :: rolling eyes ::  OOOhh!  I'm SO surprised!!!  Considering that the award is for "promoting world peace and human progress", China has no room to talk about Norway's possible decision of awarding it to one of the nations many political prisoners.

I can go on about China's many policies that have attempted to throw humanity back into the Dark Ages, but this blog can only be so long.  The toxic paint in the toys they sold to us come to mind, however.  The messed-up foodstuffs as well.  I guess this is the Chinese Government's way of promoting said peace and human progress...

The government has stated that, if the prize goes to one of these prisoners whose main crime is promoting human rights awareness in the country, relations between China and the West would be strained....

China:  I think, with your shitty products, you have been doing that already.  The fact that you denied the problems initially didn't help.  Please don't make it worse by embarrassing yourselves any further.

Or is that asking too much of you.....

9/29/08 12:51 pm - Just So You Know....

...I have NO INTENTION of posting anything here that directly has anything to do with the coming American Election.

Why, do you ask?  Simple: just about everyone else is doing it.

Don't think I am apathetic about the Electoral process.  That's far from the reality.  Anyone who knows me knows this.  I am just trying to be different here.

Now, I know, I should be posting more stuff on this blog, but I am not just going to post stuff that others have posted for the purpose of filling space and getting hits.

Thank you for your attention.  Now, back to the ranting......
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